Daniel's eyes opened and he immediately knew what to do. He grabbed his flashy hand boat and dialed up his friend Dave. The smoke signals were meaningful this morning, and he was super into it. His blanket was like a wigwam, nestled and soft-wrapped around his head, with full on babushka looks. He had oodles of noise romps going through his ear doors into his receptor brain.
He was like, "whoa." Then he started knowing what sounds were, and it was sooo velvety.
Daniel could hear the sound of lilac butter sizzling in the kitchen. He could hear his mother's apron, it's long polyester scrape-laces dragging on the copper-coated fuzzberry floor. He heard his father's belt sliding into it's home for the day, so close to his junkyard of a front part. He heard birds outside singing songs about cars - and he heard cars, hating birds and dancing on the blacktop like they were all drunk n' shit.
He heard people and he heard animals and he heard train-planes, and he heard so many other things that were never really there before. He was very pleased.
His ears had become way better at paying attention to the real world, and almost over night. Daniel listened on in full slack-jaw, partially because he had just spoken with his friend Dave, and mostly because thats what his face was doing. He usually let that dude do whatever he wanted. It was easier.
So Daniel started getting out of bed at about a turtle's pace. The sound of his body blanket was deafening, scraping along his softbed - which also sounded all loud-assed. His feet hit the floor like thunderbolt throat coughs, all gutturally strong and as loud as the rest of the things he was doing.
He sighed, confused. Even the mere sound of his sigh was like bash poison to his ears. They seemed to be trying to pucker inward. But ears can't even do that. So, whatever.
Just then this freakin' big ole' wizard came rushing into his bedroom, breaking the spell instantly.
"Consider yourself lucky I saved you. I know how your ears were gettin' shitty there for a minute, and you were probably scared like some little dick baby."
"Wha-what? What is going on? What happened? Why was everything so loud?!" Daniel shouted these things because his ears had not caught up with his brain. It a thing, like science. It's proven or something. Anyway, he was all like, "who the hell are you?!"
"I'm the Wizard. Charmed to meet you." He cooed. Daniel immediately thought he was some kind of mentally challenged teenager or at least a real big douche.
He bowed, removing his hat. Daniel was especially mad at this. He started blabbing about spells and charms, occasionally stirring an elixir into the mix, apparently for the hell of it. He smelled like Cherry 7Up and taco shoes. It was super weird.
"I come to you tonight with a gift." The Wizard smoothly proclaimed. Now he sounded cool as shit, because Daniel loved gifts. He held out his hands and waited for something awesome. Candy, a computer, a new dad, or at least some rap shoes. He was giddy like a fish covenant.
"I present to you, Jacob and Ronnie." The star master held out his hand, revealing two tiny people standing on it. They were about 3 inches high and made of chicken. They were golden fried and dripping with mouth-tempting butter oil.
"Human nuggets?" asked Daniel. "That's your gift? Well, I can't turn down a nugget I suppose." He immediately grab-swiped them all up in his clutches and popped them into his mouth. After about ten seconds of lick smacks and stomp-bites he was done. He burped into the wind, full of goose-like butter crunch and very, very satisfied.
"What?! What the FUCK!? What did you do? You - you ate my, OH MY GOD!!! YOU ATE MY FUCKING PARENTS!!!" The Wizard screamed so loud, it brought back all the pains of the wake-up disease he had earlier. "WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING ASSDICK!? OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY GOD!!!"
Daniel just stood there, turning pale and sweating profusely. He let out a quiet but stinky fart, hoping the Wizard wouldn't hear.
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